Episode #4 – Bayley’s Bedroom Eyes

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The NXT Wrestling Fan has reached the same number of episodes as it will eventually have Horsewomen (one of whom shows up for the first time this week) as Miles and MeganBob lock up with the NXT show that originally aired on June 12th, 2013!

In this episode:

Tfw you’re about to have a fucking great wrestling match

The highlight of this episode is the opening match between Cesaro and Sami Zayn, and it’s pretty difficult to describe in either words or still images. You kinda just have to watch this one to appreciate how amazing it is. That said, we would be remiss if we didn’t provide you with a few shots of specific moments discussed during the podcast, including the ref having to hold a furious Cesaro back long enough for the bell to ring…

“You can kick his ass, Cesaro, but you have to do it in an OFFICIAL capacity!”

…a call-back to their first match, which Zayn won by roll-up…

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work the second time

…Cesaro deploying the feared “vampire arms” intimidation technique…

Expect a lawsuit from Konnor O’Brien and Rick Victor

…Sami Zayn’s leg feebly attempting to kick out of the final pin in an absolutely brilliant storytelling move…

Why do more people not do this?

…and of course, as Bob puts it, “high-risk oral sex.”

Sex and the Circus

Just a fantastic match. One more picture from this one, just because it so perfectly illustrates the story of the match being Zayn’s utter refusal to give up until he physically cannot go on:

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*chef kiss*

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Meet Bayley, the robot-loving, Jenga-playing embodiment of child-like innocence who also happens to be a pro wrestler and who is pretty much definitely queer. Beyond the fact that she responds to questions about her opponent, Alicia Fox, simply by talking about how pretty she is, she basically asks Renee Young out on a date while giving her a series of looks so meaningful we named a podcast episode after them.

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We rest our case, Your Honor.

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Again, we rest our case.

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Bob can’t put her finger on it, but she knows she’s heard the name Baron Corbin before. On this episode, at least, he’s a total jobber who gets squashed by Scott Dawson, Garrett Dylan, and their evil French manager, Sylvester LeFort. Anything you’d like to say to Bob, Mr. Corbin?

Interesting.

“Excuse me, have you gentlemen heard about the fall of Gondolin?”

As Adrian Neville, Corey Graves, and Kassius Ohno bicker about who gets to take on the Wyatt Family, William Regal arrives to give them some sage-like advice, straight outta Tolkien. The races of trashbag fey, Geordie hobbits, and basic-ass men must unite to defeat the swamp demons! Or, to put it another way, do you want The Shield? Because this is how you get The Shield.

By the way, here’s a brief, mysterious glance at The Shield:

So yeah, maybe don’t let that happen in NXT. You know, again.

Hey, what’s that behind you, Corey Graves? Could it be…foreshadowing for a new segment of a podcast coming out six years after the fact? No, surely not…after all, of all the things for Bob’s elf eyes to see during the Sights Sounds, and Feels of Pro Wrestling, SURELY she didn’t home in on a random poster of Mick Foley just hanging out in the background. It would be ridiculous even to suggest such a thing.

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Anyway, it’s now time for Bayley’s match with Alicia Fox, whose costume hits a very specific set of references. Fox wins the match, partially due to Bayley being starstruck and wanting to hug her, but mainly due to this kick:

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Brutal.

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Good promo from the Wyatts this week, but more importantly, check out that camera angle. That is an entire choice.

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Finally, we get an NXT Championship match between Bo Dallas and Big E Langston! This match…does not start well for the challenger.

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WWE NETWORK

…and that’s before the Pecs of Doom (DOOOOOOOM!) are released upon the battlefield.

FATALITY

However, Bo Dallas fights on even through those pecs, and while cradled on Big E’s shoulder in preparation for the Big Ending, Dallas accidentally/on purpose exposes one of the turnbuckles…

Go ahead, say it with us. “Turnbuckle.”

Here it is again. That orange thing. Turnbuckle.

“Turnbuckle.”

He rams Big E’s head into it, twice, gives him a belly-to-belly suplex, and all of a sudden…

What

Well, MeganBob certainly didn’t see THAT coming!

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And to top it all off, he’s going to Disney World. Welcome to the Bo Dallas Era, ladies and gentlemen! We promise it’s far more delightful than it initially appears.

http://www.whatculture.com

The earlier foreshadowing pays off during the first installment of “Guess the Gimmick,” in which MeganBob Googles “Mankind WWF” and tells us what she thinks Mankind’s character was without any hints or explanations. Miles still can’t believe she noticed the stupid poster.

We also get into the weird and wonderful world of wrestling authority figures during the Wrestling Term of the Week, but not before Bob makes Miles the happiest nerd alive…

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If you have to ask, you’ll never know. But feel free to ask anyway, because we will tell you ALL ABOUT IT.

Next week, it’s our first look at Miles’ favorite wrestler currently working, and he is SO EXCITED! Also, a wild Dusty Rhodes appears! See you then!

By the way, that is, in fact, our music! It’s called “Learnbuckle” and it was created by the uniquely talented Rafael Medina, whose work you can and should follow via his Twitter account, @EarthMeauxFaux! You can also follow Miles @mjschneiderman, MeganBob @meganbobness, and the show itself @nxtwrestlingfan, or visit www.nxtwrestlingfan.com

Additional music and sound credit to:

“Eyes Gone Wrong”, “Greta Sting”, “NewsSting”, “Samba Stings,” “District Four,” “Discovery Hit,” “Angevin B,” “The Snow Queen”
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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